Legends and other lies
by NeverlandSpirit
Summary: "What if I told you this is bigger than New York? What if I told you that the Avengers is a joke and part of a bigger conspiracy thoery? Would you believe me?" New York gave rise to the greatest legenadary team there ever would be...but legends were always a lie.


LEGENDS AND OTHER LIES.

Chapter One.

Natasha walks up the road to the house that she knows like the back of her hand. His house and there was once a time that she like it call it hers too. But everything changed. New York changed everything.

She reaches his front porch and wishes that she hadn't come but …the circumstances call for it. So she breathes in a couple of time in vain because she knows that he already suspects someone at the door but she knocks at the door anyway. She gulps down the hesitation in her before the door swings open and she is greeted by that sweet smile that tears at her.

"Hi Nicole." She says now that is too late to turn around and run back to where she came from.

"Hi! What a surprise, Come in." Nicole says and pushes the door wider to let the red head in.

"Thanks." She says once she is completely in "Is Clint, home?"

"Yup he is clearing the attic. I'll go get him." And she leaves.

Nicole is Clint's wife, has been for about two years now.

Lots of things had changed since New York but the news that Clint was getting married affected her the most though no one noticed. Even she didn't until after his marriage while he was honeymooning in the Bahamas and she drowned herself in her blood and alcohol. Who was there to notice her pain anyway? The Avengers? Phil? Yeah right!

Their so called team had split as soon as they had seen Thor and Loki zap them back to Asgard. Steve bought a motorcycle and disappeared to discover the new world. Tony was still reeling from his near death experience and who knows where Banner went. And as for Clint, he dumped his cell into the nearest trash bin grabbed a ticket to an unknown destination and left her behind.

So yeah, who would actually notice her pain? But then again she too hadn't wiped the others pain away. So in the end it was a fair deal to wipe your own tears.

She hadn't talked to him for five months, let alone saw him after New York. Then one day in the dead of the night, he knocked at her apartment door and flopped down on her leather couch, like nothing had changed and like he had just returned from a solo op.

He bought up the topic the following day as he made her pancakes. _"I am getting married._" He said as pushed the plate of pancake towards her.

She didn't reply.

"_The wedding's on the 15__th__ at the church by Summer Hills."_

And then she knew he is giving her all the information not because he had expected to see her there but because he wanted her to say something. She didn't and soon the topic vanished into thin air.

She attended the wedding in the blue dress he had gotten her years ago.

Her flashback was broken by the sound of footfalls down the steps and he came into view. His hair was yet in a mess like he always wore it, and his skin was sun kissed-he looked perfect.

"Nat? God, how are you?" he says as he reaches the final step and closes the distance between them to envelope her in a tight embrace. "God it's been so long…"

"Yeah, too long." And she silently prayed that he didn't notice that they both were on different pages. She realizes that Nicole was there too and quickly pushes her scrambled thought to the back of her mind. "How are you?" she asks once they break their embrace and move to sit on the couch.

"I am good."

And suddenly that's all they have to say. Partners for 11 years and a small formal greet is all they had left to share.

The ambience is thick with unsaid words and a tension that urgently needs to be dissipated. Nicole makes her presence known in just the nick of time.

"Natasha, would you like to say for lunch?" Nicole asks, her brown hair falling over her shoulder in perfect waves as she pokes her through the kitchen door.

Natasha quickly shakes her head in the negative and mutters a small 'No, but thanks for asking.'

"Oh come on. You just got here and I am sure Clint and you would love to catch up." Her honesty catches Natasha right in the heart.

"But you are welcomed to join us too." Natasha replies and she tries to incorporate as much sentiment as she can afford through her words.

"Non-sense, I would be like the third wheel between two friends." She says as she crosses her way from the kitchen to the living room where they are seated and it's the first time she notices how silent Clint has been.

"Oh no! If anything I feel like the third wheel, coming here without a notice or even a call. Sorry about that."

"No biggie Natasha, it's your house too. You are welcomed anytime."

At that Natasha can't help but think that yes, once upon a time this actually used to be her place to crash for the night. The emphasis must be paid to the word '_used_'.

The heavy silence is back and it's amplified now that Nicole was here and as a desperate measure to survive the quiet Clint clears his throat.

"Uh, Honey, what's for lunch? I am sure Natasha would love to have your Alfredo Fettuccini. Wouldn't you Natasha?" Clint says and his darling wife can't beat the blush that rises to her cheek. Natasha joins in too, telling her that she was dying to try her pasta dish that Clint would never shut up about. Natasha's sweet comments further add to the red on her cheeks and Nicole quickly disappears into the kitchen to start prepping for the meal.

Once again Clint and Natasha are left in the quiet of his living room and the red head takes a moment to actually look at the place properly. The place had changed significantly since the last time she had been here, which was a little less than a year ago.

She wanders her eyes on the photos on the mantel piece above the fire. Photos in Paris, in Bahamas and in every place that she believed was magical-but it wasn't her-it was Clint and Nicole in those pictures, having the time of their lives.

She doesn't know how long she lingers near the mantel piece but the spell is broken by a small curse coming from the kitchen. She turns around just in time to see Nicole coming out of the kitchen, untying her purple apron from around her waist.

"Sorry guys, lunch might be a little late. I have to go to the store and grab some spinach." And neither of them had the time to reply before Nicole put on her shoes and was out the front door.

'Now is my chance' Natasha thinks and opens her mouth to word her voice but Clint beats her to it.

"So what is the real reason you are here?"

"Wow, you are such a charmer Clint."

For a moment everything was back the way it was two and a half years ago.

"Oh really? Because, I never knew Natasha Romanoff to be the kind of person to beat around the bushes either."

Then and only then Natasha realizes her real reason to walk up the door that bought back so many memories that her head ached. Good memories and bad.

"I need you to come back. Come back to SHIELD."

No more beating around the bushes. No more lies , no more sitting idle and thinking about ways that you could have done it differently.

"No."

"No?"

"I am never coming back again. That's the whole point of resigning. I quit, the end of the matter." Clint says as steadily as he can, which is a lot.

"Look, Clint I know what resigning means but SHIELD is on the peak of shutting down and it needs every agent it can get more than ever. Just this once."

"Natasha, I quit SHIELD two years ago with the intention of never going back there again. And let me tell you, I am sticking to my plan" he paces further away from her because she is practically asking him to do something that he promised himself he wouldn't. "Besides I have a more stable, job which I kind of really like. Something is normal for once in my life and I am not leaving it."

That was BULLSHIT and even Natasha knew it. Clint, her ex-partner, her former best buddy would never settle for the mundane daily life. He would rather bungee jump from the tallest point on earth until he pukes than settle for domesticity. Sadly, she lost that Clint after New York.

This Clint on the other hand was a coward. He was scared of the risks of the lives they led as spies. He preferred waking up to the sounds of the birds chirping out of his windows rather than the loud blaring alarm at SHIELD headquarters. This Clint promises to take his wife on romantic trips and he likes the security of a normal life.

Natasha hates this Clint.

"Domesticity? You are really pulling this bullshit on me? WAKE UP CLINT!" she yells covering the distance he had created between them and grabs him by the shoulders roughly. "What has gotten into you? You quit SHEILD, I accepted, you got married, I said nothing. Now I ask you to come in for the one thing we swore to life for and you are chickening out?

"I am NOT chickening out! You asked me to come in and I declined" he yelled with equal vigor and shoving her hands off of his broad shoulders.

"You may not have a life outside SHIELD Natasha but I do. And I am not going to let that shadow what little happiness I have managed to find in a long time. GET A LIFE, Natasha."

Wow, did he actually say that to her? He did, didn't he?

He sees the determination in her eyes fade and she takes a step back. Right then he realizes that his words might not have been the best in the situation because now, he sees the desperation she had in her eyes when she asked him to join SHIELD again. Because he saw the determination she had come with to convince him vanish and because he knows that at that moment she gave up all pretense that this could actually work.

She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breathe in a futile attempt to kill the rage with in her. It didn't work in the slightest, so she swiftly turns around to leave. Honestly this had been a waste of time.

"Natasha wait, I didn't mean it-"he tries to say as she walks to the door and suddenly grabs her arm to turn her back around.

That does it. She raises her arm and slaps him, leaving an impressive red hand print on his cheek. She yanks her hand out of his grasp and raises her arm again but thinks against it.

"I'll get a life when to you stop and wake from this domesticity crap you are pulling at me"

She bangs the door behind her just as Nicole pulls in the driveway.

"Natasha? What happened? Where are you going?" Nicole asks concerned about her behavior.

"Sorry Nicole, I just got called in for work. I have been assigned a long term undercover mission so I won't be around for a about a year or two." She walks up to the brunette who had just now gotten out her black mini cooper and gives her a small hug. "Bye, Take care."

And just like that she walks away, never glancing back despite Nicole's questions

She walks up to her car she parked five blocks away from his house and heavily slides in the driver's seat, resting her head against the steering wheel. Damn it, her hands are shaking and despite the heater in the car being on the high sides she feels a cold sweat break on her forehead. Her mind feels like it is being pulled on from the inside as thoughts of running her car into that big tree by the next curve of the road thrills her. Maybe she could run it over the bridge and dive into the cold water below. She gets some more such thoughts and she knows just about what time it is.

She pulls her glove compartment open and searches through the various documents she had stashed in there to find the yellow bottle containing her remedy, Sertraline. With trembling hands she unscrews the lid on the bottle and shakes 6 pills on the palm of her hand.

She stares at it for a long time, occasionally glancing out through her wind shield to make sure no one is watching her. It's funny to her that she has come to depend on such pathetic antidepressant s for survival despite her tough upbringing. She shoves the small white pills in her mouth and dry swallows them and convinces herself that everything is alright before igniting the car and racing through the roads.

Half an hour into the drive to her apartment, she feels the pleasant lightheadedness that she has come to love and turns on the radio. It plays a song that she can't stand and yet her fingers lightly trump on the steering wheel. She feels alive.

By the time she reaches her apartment her spirits are on fire and the hop in her step is contradicting the situation that she has to face once she is home. She unlocks the door and does a quick search of her apartment out of habit before flopping down on the couch.

She feels alive but she also feels alone.

Maybe another of that magical antidepressant won't to any harm. So she finds herself heavily trudging towards her bedroom and turning the place upside down in search of the little yellow bottle.

Normally, she thinks to herself, her room is quite organized and neat but following the death of her newest partner changed things-maybe didn't change- but that she started to see that she really needed help. So she got herself help, illegally of course. She dug out the cash she had saved up years ago and bought some un-prescribed sertraline. And it should be known that this isn't the worse she had done.

She finds the pills on her unmade bed and pulls out a two of them, dry swallowing them the same way she had done previously. And is it possible to feel it working already because if her spirit were alight before well it's an inferno now.

She throws herself on her untidy bed and simply looks up to her ceiling. She has glow in the dark stars on them and yes it is kind of obsolete but it is also the only touch of personalization against her whole apartment.

"Hey." Someone says from her right.

She quickly snaps her neck towards the source of the voice, alert and relaxes as she realizes who the person was.

She chuckles for a bit, shaking her head from side to side but makes no attempt to get up from her bed. 'It's really nice that you pay me visit even when you are dead. I mean how the hell do you find the time to visit me from heaven, Potus?"

He chuckles at that. "Anything for my favorite partner."

"Hey, I was your only partner!" she says and whips her head to face him but he isn't that. "Where the hell did you go, Potus?"

"Boo!" comes a shout from her left and to say she was startled would be true. "Gotcha,"

And then she starts laughing out with him. She is actually having a good time.

"Why did you have to take that solo op and die, Potus? We could have gone together. Now I have to do all this shit alone?"

"Someone had to stand for women like you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, people in our agency tend to forget that you girls are not invisible or replaceable. And just because you women were trained to excel from a very young age doesn't mean that you have to carry the whole organizations burden on your shoulders. Besides you are like a little annoying, bratty sister to me."

"But now I have to, don't I? Maria is missing, Fury was fired and Councilman Henry was killed with you. Now I do have to carry this burden all on my own."

"Why don't you ask Clint to help you?"

And she puffs out an annoyed breath, pulling the blanket closer to herself before finding out that he is gone.

Somewhere in the edge of her mind, she knows that her hallucinations are getting worse by the day but-she doesn't want to stop. And she slips into unconsciousness with arms wide open. But before she lets herself be pulled under the darkness, she swears to find Maria, find out why Fury was fired and get to the bottom of this SHIELD crisis.

Because she had nothing else to live for now.

Because New York raised the best team of legends there ever would be but it was also was the epic downfall of everything else they believed to be true.

Everything today was bigger than New York, it was a web of conspiracy and lies and the legends everyone trusted their lives with were about to get caught in and die.

Natasha was already feeling it.

**AN: So how did you guys like it….loved it/hated it?**

**Let me know and please leave a review.**


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